Have you ever noticed how the cooking industry is dominated by great male chefs, yet somehow the phrase “women belong in the kitchen” has been passed down for generations?

At first, it might sound like a harmless joke. But that phrase carries weight. To say that women “belong” in the kitchen is to say that their place is within the private sphere, that their worth is tied only to serving others.

It is a subtle but powerful way of “putting women in their place.” And when we laugh at it, we accept it. We quietly devalue women’s existence and reinforce the idea that their role in society is limited.

Most dangerously, phrases like this create and reinforce gender norms, the unwritten rules about what men and women “should” be or do. These norms do not just exist in words; they shape mindsets, relationships, and opportunities.

What Are Gender Norms?

At their simplest, gender norms are the social expectations placed on people based on their gender.

• Boys are encouraged to be strong, not cry → “emotional toughness.”
• Girls are encouraged to be polite, quiet, and nurturing → “submissive behaviour.”

These rules are reinforced every day in schools, homes, workplaces, and the media.

Boys are expected to be active and loud, while girls are expected to be gentle and compliant.
A boy’s bad behaviour is often dismissed as “boys will be boys”, while a girl is held to higher standards of politeness and perfection.

Over time, this creates unequal expectations. Girls learn they must work harder, never make mistakes, and carry the weight of always being “good,” while boys often grow up with more room for error, with certain behaviours overlooked or excused. This does not mean boys are free from pressure, since many face the heavy expectation of being providers or protectors. However, invisible labels shape the paths boys and girls are expected to follow, placing unequal demands on how they behave and who they become.

Why This Matters

Gender norms do not stay small; they grow into deeply rooted inequalities.

• When boys are told that anger is acceptable but sadness is weakness, they may grow into men who struggle to express emotion in healthy ways, sometimes fuelling aggression.
• When girls are taught that being assertive is impolite, they may grow into women who find it hard to say no, set boundaries, or feel guilty for doing so. This leaves them more vulnerable to pressure and coercion.

These norms create power imbalances that ripple out into society. They show up in:

• Media headlines that blame victims (“she was attacked while walking home at night”).
• Films that romanticise persistence (a man’s coercive behaviour is portrayed as passion).
• Even something as subtle as titles: Mr. applies to all men, while women are defined by Miss, Mrs., or Ms., each signalling their status in relation to others.

These patterns are everywhere. They are often invisible until we stop to notice them.

Prevention Begins With Awareness

If we want to stop violence before it starts, we must unlearn the patterns that keep inequality alive. That begins with naming them. Once we see them clearly, we can begin to challenge them in our homes, schools, workplaces, and culture.

So, take a moment to reflect:

• What gender norms did you grow up with?
• How have they shaped you, positively or negatively?

If we truly want to end violence against women and girls, prevention must start here by dismantling the norms that make inequality seem natural.

This journey begins with awareness, but it leads us to something deeper: consent, the foundation of respect and equality.

Join the Conversation

Share this blog with someone you know.
Start a conversation about the patterns you see in everyday life.
The more we notice, the more we can change.